Vic's Thoughts

sitting here, thinking

Sitting here thinking..... (REALLY LONG)!

Everyone has been there once or twice or a million times in their lives.

We have so many things affecting us in life no matter what.

We are always moving and shaking, and changing things which causes us to get confused from time to time. I have to admit times like these get blurred together and all we do is move with the motions that we are used to. Why is it that when we are thrust into a sticky situation are immediate reaction is how can I get through this, or how can I not have to deal with it at all, but then once we are in it, and we feel around and get our feet wet, we realize it isnt that bad and we arent afraid anymore. It is because life gives us these situations to make us think; to make us move our thoughts around to see similarities in life; and how we have already pushed past other situations like this one.

As an engineer, and as a women, I have noticed that even though I may be a minority in a sea of many many men and elders and wiser people, I still have the ability to change others around me. I look towards role models, like the deans in the offices, to the moms who fight every day for their kids, to the people who make the world a better place. I should say my role model is a figure who wants change, and every one would immediately think Obama, but I do not. This is my view, and I will stick with it. The situation we are in, just does not feel right. Maybe it has to do with the knowledge of our past, and the fear of what the future holds, but honestly, this "change" is only going to affect me and my fellow peers. This change will make students think twice before getting jobs, if those jobs even exist.

Another thing that is getting to me for some reason is the "will power and grace"  (  =)  ) of people.  What gives a person the drive to make a difference, the drive to be better than the rest, the will to continue when they are at the bottom? What makes life easier....or better yet, what helps make life not as difficult? We all know that we are thrown more curveballs that one can count, and sometimes we hit them out of the park and other times we just cant, and we miss and miss until finally we get thrown that perfect pitch and it goes out of the park. So what am I really saying here, what is that perfect pitch, it is that feeling you get when for some reason you have a good day. When for once a good day actually occurs and at the end of it you can smile and say wow. That happened to me, for the first time this past week. I had an interview with a construction company that is really really awesome, and they seem like very pleasant people to work with. Then the day only got better when I was told my resume would be shown during a conference I had to attend, and then at my favorite restaurant my favorite appetizer was being served. NO ONE can have a say like that, but I did. It was amazing, and I cant say anything else about it.

Well world:  be love laugh and enjoy <3

Peacelovebye

Vic

it has been too long.

... it has been too long since, I wrote to let my thoughts flow, and to pour my heart out to this blog. I guess you can say that life got in the way, and people's lives got in the way.

Every day, I wake up out of bed, and I occasionally smile and look at the sun (if its sunny of course) and say hey, it's good to be here. Then there are the days, you just do not want to get out of bed, and you just want to curl up into a little ball, and keep the sun from shining into your eyes, and keep all the people you need to talk to away, and not have to face the world, which for me.. was sadly about everyday last week and the week before.

My feelings have been tied up in a knot and a bow, and have been put on the side because I sometimes do not want to deal with it. Instead, I feel that if I help others, my troubles will just disappear, however they never do, and people's lives are sometimes more complicated than my own.

See, I am here for those who need it, but I feel as though it is too late for those to know that I need them sometimes too. Like I have told two of my close friends, relationships are all about give and take. You give and give, but at some point you must get in return.  Life is not fair if you do not, and thus you can possibly getting the overwhelming feeling of being trampled on.. like a doormat.

Is it possible, that some people see me as the person to wipe the shit off their shoes when they walk in the door, and that thing that minimizes the damage made to white carpets. AM I the person who just sits there and will be there for you, but then never gets remotely recognized for being there. Why is it that some people who come to me and say they need a friend always end up shying away when there is something good going on in their lives, and only come when it is bad. WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE A FRIEND TO ME?

Have I not shown you that I am capable of having fun and being serious at the same time. I have the quality I believe to be able to be kid like at times, and be able to act like an adult when the time comes. So tell me why cant others do the same. Why cant others stick up for other people, and why must others only always think of themselves and not anyone else?

You want to read that.. and comment, be my guest. I love talking about life, and I think having been thrust into such situations, I have come out a better smarter and more gentler person. (but on the inside I am as fiery as a beast!)

In all these terms, it boils down to .. You gave an inch, and I gave a mile.

peacelovebye

VIC of course

hell_week

Hey yall,

I am a current sophomore who is enduring the worst week ever. I call it hell week, because I have to have a five page dissertation done by friday, one top of three exams (Intro to CADD, Mechanics of Solids, and Differential Equations), on top of a quiz in my Differential Equations class a day before the exam =). I am seriously looking forward to this week and all the joy it will bring. NOTTTT!!!..

Anyway, I hope that everyone out there is doing a little better than me and that you are enjoying your week somewhat. I have been studying like its my job (oh wait it technically is) and I have been doing problems that consist of gobbleygook  to the general public and work that most people dont want to be doing on a cold rainy and snowy day. BUT that is my life and I love it. I shouldnt complain I mean I have a wonderful family and a lot of people to back me up =) but other than that I have not much else. I should be studying, but instead I feel like blogging is a good stress reliever. I can not wait till this week is over

peacelovebye

vic

24 hours

There are 24 hours in a day. As an engineer, I needed there to be 25. One extra hour would so work right now. It seriously has been 24 hours I feel like I have been working straight, and I just can not handle this. It's one assignment, but I know that once I kinda finish it, I will feel alittle relieved only to work on it some more later. My HW load is immense and every exam that I can have I think I have next week. I dont know, I am kinda praying for snow or something to delay this would be awesome.

Good news, I am going home tomorrow because I need a break from rutgers and to hang out with my sister and help her out. She is awesome!

Anyway, the paper is waitng for me... (I really wish it wasn't, but life is life RIGHT!)

have a good night people, I know what I will be doing! Wish me luck <3<3

byepeacelove

Vic!

hey hey hey

I am talking here.. lol

See it is really easy for me to talk about my thoughts, but when I actually need to write a paper, I cant seem to find any words to make a paper. HOW DO I MAKE THIS PAPER WORK!!!!!!... All I need are ideas, but i need help. I hope that in the next twenty four hours I can somehow make five pages appear on my computer, with references and text... but.. it is just a rough draft soooo.... lol

Anyway, Lets see, I really gotta get crackin.... i should go.. yeah... this was a pointless post sorry!!!!

peacelovebye... have a good thursday.

to the coolest people ever.

Well,

Everyone I know is the coolest person ever, but there are really cool people I would like to talk about here. They include the SWE E-Board, whom are all graciously reading this as I speak. They are the people who I look up to, who I treasure, and who I can laugh with and be laughed at. They are the people who probably helped me grow more into the person I am now, but I still have my own ways kicking and screaming. They told me, it was OK to be myself, and it was fine to just be happy or just be sad. They know who I am and I know who they are and I think that's all that really matters. Here you all are posted online. Christine, Trina, Annie, TJ, Holly, Sarah, Padma, Molly, Deepal, Minru, and who ever else is there. (but I think I got you all).... thanks girls and boy. lol =)

I know that where ever we all go, that the 2009 2010 e-board will be remembered at moments in our lives when we are just sitting around. I think my favorite moments are of my weird mishaps: like "Leave it to Beaver" or my personal favorite, when I decided to randomly start dancing after one of our meetings. How I put it was that we were letting off steam. We needed too.. we were all uptight about things we had to do, tests we had to study for, places we needed to go...when all that mattered was that moment.

I think that's where my own mentality plays in, it's all about living in the moment. We are here now 2010 in February beating the frigid frigid weather, and all that matters is that we are here, we are able to do whatever we want, whenever we want. We can go out and have a good time,  we can be ourselves or dress up like a JERSEY SHORE character, we can look at "tools" and laugh or not, and just in the end, we can be who we want.

Another thing, is don't sweat the small stuff. I can't let the little things get to me even if they try. I think the best thing to do is to breathe in and out... even if you feel like punching a pillow.

................................im sorry thats all i have for now..

peacebyelove

never thought I would..

well its now Monday morning pretty early actually. My valentines day was nice cause I hung out with my cousin's baby who is absolutely amazing. His name is Jake and he is just too cute. He has this eye thing that he will do, and he will "flirt" with you when he does it. I laughed so hard and so did my family today, cause he was going down the line of the people here, and just giving them this eye thing.It was too cute. Sorry but you had to be there to appreciate it.  Also, me and my cousin look a lot alike, so when Jake was getting a little rowdy, I tried helping her out and played with him alittle. Turns out, I was pretty good at it, he stayed so calm, and was just smiling the whole time. It felt really good and it made me all warm and fuzzy inside.

Anyway, School this week should be interesting. I think I have to write a five page paper somehow and make it make sense all by Friday. AWESOME!!.. wish me luck to the two people that read this post. ahah (myself included! ..jk! well probably true) So .. if you happen to be bored and are on twitter and know someone else who is equally as bored..tell them to go read my posts. they are quirky retarded and funny all at the same time. ENJOY!

byepeacelove

day before v-day

Well thats fun... or is it.

Can Valentines Day be fun when you are not in a relationship. I mean can you spread love to your family and all your friends on Valentine's Day. I think so. I think it is definitely appropriate to share your love with people who have raised you, been there for you when you were at your worst, be forgiving when you have hurt them. I think those are your true Valentine's. But I digress. It was a tough week at school. We had a total of 3 days out of 5 cause of the ridiculous amount of snow that decided to hit the eastern seaboard. The president thought he was cool by saying "Snowmageddon" but honestly, most tweeters were pretty much bashing it. I think calling the snow.. "frozen hell" would maybe work, or "that-stuff-that-rutgers-has-no-idea-what-to-do-with-so-we-just-pretend-like-it-didnt-happen-even-though-it-did-and-let-all-the-people-just-slip-and-fall-everywhere" event I personally like the latter.

Alsoooooo... yesterday me and two other members of the E-board for SWE (society of women engineers) plus one other awesome person were selling cookies and sweets to people to donate to mycharitywater.org. It is a great organization... blah.. yeah you know.. anyway the reason why I am writing about it is because we found out that my english accent is actually mildly amusing. I try and act like Hermonine from Harry Potter, because I always thought I could do her accent (even as I am writing this..the little voice in my head is talking in an english accent (cool..but some of you may be worried now!)) however I tried grabbing people to buy stuff and donate using the accent, but failed miserably when all the people around me started laughing and ruined the whole thing. But I still love them so its all good. Also my friend does this ridic accent from south jerz about squirrels and their squirrel stew... that was funny. props TJ.

WELL i think thats all for now. Im with the family, so I shall attend to that HAHA

peacelovebye

tor

2.9.2010 postthelove

So this post is pretty short, but just makes a major impact to anyone who reads this!!!.......

http://www.postthelove.com

Is the best website to join, and its just a happy place to be. To get away from it all when you just need to get away, a place to tell someone you love them, a place to show the world that you love it!!!

-PEACE LOVE AND HAPPPINESSS!!!!!!!

Vic

2.09.10 food and dancing??

its 12:32.. I have been thinking about a lot of stuff today. There are the occasional: where am i gonna live next semester, then there's the usual: What work do I have to get done, and my personal favorite is: What am I going to eat.

If I have yet to tell you whoever is reading, I happen to have the biggest appetite ever. I come from an Italian family who likes to eat, talk, eat and eat some more. Really there is never a moment that goes by that we aren't eating.  I can even recount times where I would be done with lunch and hanging with my sister, and she would say whats for dinner..and I would look at her and cock my head a little... but deep down inside I was thinking the same thing..... haha food is a passion. I have to admit I honestly enjoy eating. When going to a restaurant, I get a little giddy when I see a plate of food in front of me. My favorite dish I can not say.. its either a steak, or eggplant parm, or pasta or.....or.... everything. I have good cooks in my family, so I can not say I haven't been fed right. I pretty much know when something is bad and when it is good, and I find that as my little hobby. But other than loving food so much.. I have to say I love to dance too.

Dancing is something I did for about 13 years. It ranged from ballet to tap (when I was little) to jazz and lyrical. I found it so fascinating and even my teacher thought I was good enough to compete. Ballet was my strongest dance style. I tried everything in my power to make sure I was the best. I used to practice for days. trying to get the beats and my feet to flow perfectly. I tried to remember all my dance steps and keep the flow of the music in my head....and then I realized I had to grow up, and move on to something that was going to give me the money and the assurance to do whatever I wanted. I left dancing and became an engineer...talk about two different worlds.. but honestly there is not one day that goes by that I dont think about what could have been or might have happened. But I cant dream anymore. just live my life now.

LOVE VIC